My Life (I Guess) Lately – Vol. 5

Last Updated on August 17, 2020

If you’ve been paying attention, you’ve already noticed that I broke my new year’s resolution and personal goal of posting at least once a week on my blog.

Although I missed two weeks along the way, I was doing a pretty good job until the middle of May.

That’s when life started to get more complicated and more stressful for me. And blogging became the least of my worries.

Things have started to feel a little more normal again, lately. I’m hoping to get back on track – starting with this post.

But before I dive into my regular types of posts, I thought I’d do a little life update to let you know what’s been going on.

Work Stuff

Without getting into it too much, work stuff is mostly to blame for my blogging absence.

Part of me is proud and incredibly fascinated by my line of work, but another part of me is frustrated and exasperated by it.

Learning my new role has been challenging. So, I’ve been doing as much as I can on my own to better understand it. This has included signing up for a mentorship program and several training courses. Most of which require traveling to Toronto.

I was really eager about my first trip back in May and was hoping to learn a lot from it. But instead of feeling more enthusiastic about my new career path, the trip left me exhausted. I really began to wonder if I had made a mistake accepting this job offer in the first place.

(And I realized just how much I dislike flying.)

Needless to say, I had mixed feelings about my second trip in July.  I was a lot less eager to go this time – except for the fact it gave me the chance to meet my 3-week old nephew!

The instructors turned out to be amazing! But I was left feeling really dumb and embarrassed because of how little I knew compared to everyone else – even those that were much newer to the role than me.

When I got home, I started actively (and reluctantly) looking for a new job

But to my surprise, things at work started to get better. I no longer felt completely stressed out and overwhelmed by the end of the day. Instead, I was calm, I was confident, and I finally felt like I understood what I was doing. After nearly 5 months on the job, it finally made sense!

I still have a lot to learn (and another 4 training sessions booked between now and April), but I know I’ll eventually get there.


Family Stuff

Back in May, we received news that my grandma wasn’t doing so well.

One of my sisters flew up to see me over the long weekend, and we took a day-trip to go visit grandma. Then a few days later, my dad also made the trip up to Northern Ontario to see us both.

My grandma passed away in early July – just days after my other sister’s baby was born. (Ain’t he cute?!)

My husband wasn’t able to get the time off work, so it was another quick trip to attend the funeral. It was great to see a lot of my family even under the tough circumstances, as I don’t get to see them much.

Although these work trips take a lot of out of me, I am happy that they do allow me to see my family – especially now that I have a little tiny nephew to spoil (since I don’t plan to have any little tiny ones of my own). There is no way that I could afford all these flights and I would be lucky to see everyone once a year, otherwise.


Health Stuff

For the last couple of months, I’ve honestly felt like a different person.

My brain has been foggy. I couldn’t concentrate and was constantly forgetting things. I started to make the dumbest mistakes and had my first (very minor) car accident when I backed into a pole.

The smallest things started to make me intensely anxious, which triggered the worst panic attacks I’ve ever had.

I started getting migraines again.

And, I had screwed up my knee and stopped going to the gym, to boot.

But what concerned me the most was how angry I felt all the time. I usually get quiet and withdrawn when I’m angry, but this was like a full on I-want-to-punch-my-fist-through-the-wall rage that I just couldn’t shake. Or pinpoint why I was even feeling angry in the first place.

I’m not sure if these problems were caused by all of this “stuff” going on or if there’s another underlying issue that I’ve yet to identify.

But as things at work started to calm down, so did everything else in life.

I’ve been feeling a lot more like myself lately (despite getting the flu yet again!), and things are getting back to normal. I’m trying to take better care of myself by going to the gym regularly, seeing my chiropractor, and (most importantly) by writing once again.


YOUR TURN: How’s your life been lately? Please share in the comments below 🙂

Amanda Kay

Amanda Kay, an Employment Specialist and founder of My Life, I Guess, strives to keep the "person" in personal finance by writing about money, mistakes, and making a living. She focuses on what it’s like being in debt, living paycheck to paycheck, and surviving unemployment while also offering advice and support for others in similar situations - including a FREE library of career & job search resources.

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9 thoughts on “My Life (I Guess) Lately – Vol. 5”

  1. I struggled with work last year for the same reasons – it was something *totally* new to me, and I had to learn it from scratch, which left me feeling frustrated and impatient with myself. It’s crazy how – a year and a half later – I’ve gotten things down to a system and it no longer intimidates me. Sometimes it just takes a bit of getting used to before you find your footing. Glad you did!

    I’m so sorry about your grandma. =(

    I’ve been having similar health issues and I wonder how much stress factors into things (though I don’t feel particularly stressed). Brain fog is not fun, especially when you’re juggling so many other things. I hope there’s no underlying issue there!

  2. There’s gotta be something to learning new difficult things at work and brain fog. At one of my last jobs, I just couldn’t get it and I was so mad at myself. I also had a (minor) fender bender and I cried myself to sleep almost every night. Eventually it got better but it took 9 months. I’m glad you’re getting through it but know you’re not alone! I’m sorry about your grandma 🙁 Your nephew is adorable and will be easy to spoil!

  3. New jobs are tough. I am so bad at new jobs and the learning curve that I don’t think there has ever bee a new job that I didn’t want to quit in the beginning. Glad you are settling in. I just think it takes more time for some than others to feel comfortable. Glad you are getting to see your family more, sorry about the loss in your family. Hope you start to feel more like yourself soon. On my end I’ve been on vacation for almost 6 weeks. Life is freaking awesome, and I never want this phase of my life to end, but you know reality always gets ya in the end.

  4. The learning curve at a new job can be so tasking. I’m also going into my 6th month at my present job and I remember how confused and frustrated I was initially. I even started having insomnia. It’s a good thing you are getting better on the job and I wish you the very best.
    I’m so sorry to hear about your grandma.
    Everything will be great sooner than you think! Sending you lots of happiness.

  5. My anxiety always gets the best of me when starting out a new job. It can really tough. It’s good to hear the training has started to go better.

    Sorry to hear about your Grandma. A person in my immediate family was diagnosed with cancer last year and it’s been a trial getting through things. It’s a process, and I’ve learned to roll with it and work through it.

  6. New jobs are always really tough. I’m glad you’ re feeling more and more comfortable at it as time went on, though! And that they’re willing to give you so much training. I kind of tend to get thrown into my jobs when I get them, so I would love an environment that would help me get trained. And I’m glad all your mood/stress are getting better as work calmed down. It’s really fascinating how much stress influences your overall life. I’m trying to reduce stress as much as possible, with my rheumatoid arthritis having been triggered by work stress (don’t be like me! lol)… And exercising is definitely helpful… It’s just so hard with a creaky body that aches, isn’t it? Best wishes!

  7. Migraines are truly debilitating. I’ve suffered for awhile, myself. :/ I’ve been up and down with my job as well. Months ago, I was in your position, due to management changes. Everyone was panicking that the new district manager was going to be awful, so I began searching for a new job, with very little success. Turns out, things are going pretty well.

    Social networking has staggered my blogging. I find it hard to update once a month, let alone weekly. I just roll with it, really.

  8. I’m sorry to hear about your grandmother. I’m glad that work turned around for you, and I also had some health issues that caused me to stop going to the gym (or at least doing more limited workouts). I went to physical therapy and started a twice-a-day stretching regime that really helped my knee. Toughest part has been sticking with it, though.

  9. I’m 5months and 1 week in to a 6 month term job where I felt much the same as you at the start and middle and it’s only settling down now. I was exhausted every day in the first 2 months, then I started getting migraines… 4 in a month, I spent many drives between locations holding back tears and I was also angry… In my last month here things are settling down and I’m much more confident… In hindsight most of my stuff was stress related… Stress has a HUGE effect in many different ways. I like your blog 🙂 I’m on the east coast!


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