I’ve Finally Made My Decision

scaresyouI finally had the courage to put myself out there (well, here), and admit to the world things that I’m reluctant to accept myself – things with me aren’t going so well.

Fortunately, I received a lot of support, encouraging words, and points to consider. Thank you everyone – Liquid Independence, CeCe @ Frugalista Married, Katie, eemusings, Debt and the Girl, Janine, SuburbanFinance, strangers over at Ask a Manager, Chad, April, Andrea, Alaina, Mike, mom, dad, and my fellow co-workers. Your kind words were an immense help. I’ve been “in my head” far too much over it and it was nice to get some outside perspective.

Ultimately though, the decision is mine and mine alone. And you’ll be happy to know that a decision has finally been made: I’m going to take a stress-leave from work.

It sucks to temporarily abandon my employer and my coworkers, but it’s clear my employers don’t have the same consideration for me or I wouldn’t be in this position to begin with. It helps that my position used to be seasonal, and my predecessors were laid off each summer, so I’m not dumping my work on anyone else – there is very little work to be done.

In the last week since posting, things have happened that made it clear the the pros outweigh the cons in this situation. Maybe stress-leave won’t solve all my problems, but it’s a treatment option that’s available to me, and I’ve got to try. Since deciding this, my mood has already notably improved – but my anxiety levels have not. Now I actually have to do something about it rather than sit and whine. I’ve grown far too comfortable making excuses and pointing the blame that taking action is scary, but no doubt necessary.

Next step: get that doctor’s note.

   

13 thoughts on “I’ve Finally Made My Decision

  1. CeCe @Frugalista Married

    Good for you!! Making a decision is the hardest part but once it’s done it’s done and you can move forward. Your job shouldn’t be making you this miserable. I think we tell ourselves oh, it’s fine or we can tough it out or oh well that’s life but even if it means less money life is short and we can’t spend it being miserable especially if we know what the cause is.
    CeCe @Frugalista Married recently posted: I Need A BreakMy Profile

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    1. Amanda

      I was cleaning up the tags on this blog, and noticed that it was almost 2 years ago that I started noticing some negative effects on my health from this job. Clearly toughing it out for 2 years is enough! :)
      Amanda recently posted: I’ve Finally Made My DecisionMy Profile

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  2. Michelle

    I’m glad you’re going to take a stress leave! Definitely sounds like you need one.
    Michelle recently posted: Common Concerns for Life Insurance NewbiesMy Profile

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    1. Amanda

      Thanks Michelle!
      Amanda recently posted: I’ve Finally Made My DecisionMy Profile

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  3. Faisal

    Take a stress leave or not, that is the thing we have to face in our live. Sometime we need to make our selves calm and clear in order to bring back our strength.

    Hopefully with your stress leave will bring back your inner side stronger than before.
    Good luck .
    Faisal recently posted: I Did Make This Desicion For The Sake Of My FamilyMy Profile

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    1. Amanda

      Agreed! I’m lucky to have this option available – without destroying my finances or screwing over my employer. I hope it helps!
      Amanda recently posted: I’ve Finally Made My DecisionMy Profile

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  4. Liz

    That sounds like something that would have benefited me a lot more last year had I been able to! Hopefully the time off will also allow you to relax. :D
    Liz recently posted: 6 Things I’m Really Bad AtMy Profile

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    1. Amanda

      Thanks Liz! I wish we could all have more time off then we do!

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  5. Sofie

    It’s so important that you listen to yourself and your inner voice, and I am so glad that you did. Learning when to say stop and enough is one of the most important things to learn in life, even though it can be a really difficult decision, and hard to admit that you need a break. It is a sign of strength, though, that you do this now, before things fall apart any further. Lots of pats on the back from me! (and a hug).
    Sofie recently posted: Brutal, ain’t it?My Profile

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    1. Amanda

      Thanks Sophie! I should have done this a long time ago.

      P.S. I’m glad I came across your blog and look forward to reading it!

      Reply

  6. Debt and the Girl

    I am glad that you are taking a break. Reading your blog makes me relate to some of the things you have been through so much. You have to take into account your health first and everything else can go screw itself :) I hope you find the peace that you need.
    Debt and the Girl recently posted: Why My E-Fund Should Be Called My Sleep At Night FundMy Profile

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  7. Cait

    I’m proud of you for doing what’s best for you – that’s not always an easy decision to make.
    Cait recently posted: August 2013 Budget & GoalsMy Profile

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    1. Amanda

      Now that’s it’s been two months, I can’t believe I didn’t do it sooner!

      Reply

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