I Got a New Job! But…

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The morning (well, afternoon) after the break-up, I woke to find an interesting email in my inbox. It was from the Executive Director of the job I interviewed for back in early April. (The one that I thought I did so well on, but was not offered the job.) The email was vague, saying that a position working with multicultural youth was available and was wondering if I was interested.

I was.

After meeting with her the following week, I discovered that the position was only part time. The guy they hired instead of me got an “almost full time teaching job” and they basically need someone (a.k.a. me) to come in and take care of the office stuff during the day. The specific duties sounded alright, but because I have a chip on my shoulder over the whole situation I was a bit pissed. If the person you hired cannot fulfill the job duties he was hired to do, why are you not firing him so that someone else (a.k.a. me) can take the full time position? I can’t survive on a PT income and don’t have high hopes for finding a second part time job any time soon considering it’s been over 9 months now and this is the only offer I’ve got.

BUT… Despite my hesitations and reservations, I accepted the position. Although it’s less hours, it does pay more per hour, is flexible, and most importantly, it’s not my old job. And you never know what opportunities it could lead to, right?

BUT… it’s a bad-sign when you have to convince yourself to do something your gut is telling you not to.

My start date was scheduled for Monday, September 16th which, at the time, gave me more than a full week before actually starting. With everything going on, I needed the week to get my life and my sleep schedule at least somewhat back in order and mentally prepare myself to going back to work after being off for over 3 months. More importantly though, I am still in the running and anxiously waiting to hear back from the college for the job I really want. I’d hate to start work only to change my mind if (when?) the college job does pan out.

BUT… I woke up on Tuesday, September 10th to a phone call where in my half-asleep state agreed to start the next day. Ugh.

Yesterday (my first day on the job) I could barely get my ass out of bed in time – even though I started at 12:30pm. It was a rainy, gloomy day, and because I’m too cheap to pay for parking, I walked the 15 minutes and was soaked by the time I arrived. Not a great start. I spent 2 hours of my 3.5 hour shift sitting in a staff meeting where I had no idea what they were talking about. I anticipated being lost to some extent, but this was a lot more then my poor brain could handle. At least everyone seemed friendly.

I was then shown my office, and had 2 co-workers “train me” – BUT… everything they said contradicted each other, contradicted what the boss had told me, and contradicted the job descriptions (yes, plural!) I was given. When I was finally left on my own to “get acquainted with the files” I had no concept of what the hell I was supposed to be doing.

Oh, and my new boss who “didn’t care when I worked as long as it was 17.5 hours a week”, was now telling me that I have to be here all day on Fridays. And then I overheard her tell someone else my schedule is half-day Wednesdays, and full days Thursday and Friday. BUT… she never asked me or told me this.

*** Insert panic attack here. ***

Thankfully I’m alone in my little office at the end of the hall, so I was able to freak out and calm myself down undetected. I ventured out of my little office-cave en route to the bosses office for clarification only to discover that almost everyone was gone – including my boss. Apparently the office closes at 4:30 and no one bothered to mention that to me.

*** Insert panic attack number 2 here. ***

I got home and promptly sunk into my couch, turned on the Netflix, and freaked the eff out on my family (via Facebook messages) and my “work mom” (via texts). I just wanted someone to tell me what to do!

I threw myself a little pity party, and reluctantly went to bed where I laid awake until 3 am! (Which made getting up at 8:15am today a bitch.) I eventually convinced myself that quitting this new job and going back to my old job at the theatre was my best course of action.

Because I’m weak.

And I hate change.

And I want more stability in my life right now, not less.

And I need the money.

BUT… most importantly, I have to listen to what my body and my gut is telling me. I’ve been ignoring my “Jiminy Cricket” for far too long, and imagine that’s why my life has gotten so off-track.

BUT… I still don’t feel good about this decision. It just feels like the least crappy option available. I haven’t acted on this decision yet, and I’m sure I’ll flip-flop a hundred more times before I actually do anything. Today, my second day on the job, went a lot better, but it still just doesn’t feel right.

Did I just jump into this “back to work” thing too soon, before I was ready? Am I just not giving the new job a real chance? Am I being completely dumb thinking that going back to my old job is the better option? Or is there something better out there waiting for me?

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Amanda is the owner and creator of My Life, I Guess... a personal finance and lifestyle blog that started back in 2013. She strives to keep the "person" in personal finance by writing about money, mistakes and making the most of it.

 

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21 thoughts on “I Got a New Job! But…

  1. Anne @ Unique Gifter

    From what I’ve read here… I’d stick it out for several days. The people who started with me on Monday still don’t have an idea really of what they’re supposed to do yet, they mostly have to read boring ass policies and stuff.
    I think you’re overwhelmed by all of the change you’ve had in your life. I’d give it at least two weeks. An upside to it being only part time is that you don’t have to go from 0 hours to 40 overnight!

    Reply

    1. Amanda

      Hahaha, yes. It is a lot of boring ass reading! (Which really isn’t so bad to get paid to sit and read when you think about it!)
      I agree that I’m just feeling overwhelmed. I thought I had more time to adjust, then didn’t. And the changes that are happening might be good in the long run, but right now they are changes I don’t want. Thankfully I get a 4.5 day weekend to rest and really think things through.

      Reply

  2. Cait

    I’m all about trusting your gut, but you’ve only been there two days. I agree w/ Anne and would suggest you try it for a couple of weeks. Who knows – you might start to like it more, make a couple friends OR hear back from that job you’re still waiting to hear from. And it’s kind of a bonus that it’s just part-time… Whatever you decide, I wish you luck.

    Reply

    1. Amanda

      Thanks Cait. I think I just freaked out because so much changed in such a short time after being so routine for the last 4 years. I’m trying to be a bit more pre-active with the new job. It definitly helps that it’s only 3 days a week.

      Reply

  3. debtfreeoneday

    Firstly, well done on accepting this job, even though your first day sounded like a complete nightmare. I would give this job a bit longer before deciding whether to quit. You never know once you get the hang of this new job (and it sounds like your boss needs to be a bit more helpful), then you might really like it plus you never know what opportunities are going to come up. I’m sure a full time position would come up at some point. I wouldn’t take that step back to your old job without being completely sure it’s the right thing to do. Think about your health! :) Plus, if that other job came off in the meantime, you could just quit then!

    Reply

    1. Amanda

      There are things in the works :) Hopefully that’s what my next post will be about if it works out.

      Reply

  4. CeCe @Pink Sunshine

    If it weren’t for the money issue working part time could be a nice way to ease yourself back into working. Money is always the big BUT though. Aside from all of the contradictions and the fact that it’s part time it could end up being okay if you gave it more time. I HATE first days on a job. I want to shrivel up and cry because I hate change and I hate not knowing what I’m doing. It usually does get better. I think you are just so scared of all the uncertainties of the new job that it’s making the old job sound more attractive but you really know it’s not good for you. Timing is such a tricky thing though. It’s so hard to juggle when you are job searching.

    Reply

    1. Amanda

      Yay… I think I convinced myself that the old job was better because it was familiar. I could show up and jsut know what I’m supposed to do each day. If this job paid enough and/or I had another source of income (like babysitting, freelance writing or making money off my blog) I would LOVE to only work PT in an office, and the rest in my pj’s at home :)

      Reply

  5. Kate

    Oh this is tough! I would probably stick it out and interview when I could. And have a real talk with your new boss about expectations. Good luck!!

    Reply

    1. Amanda

      Thanks Kate. I’ve been trying to track the boss down, but no luck thus far. Guess I’ll just keep trying!

      Reply

  6. Janine

    I’m glad you got a job, I do agree with the others to stick it out for a little while longer. There are many people I know who hate their jobs when they start but then end up loving them. It’s easier to get a job when you have a job so consider continuing the job search while working!

    Best of luck!

    Reply

    1. Amanda

      Thanks Janine. The job searching continues!

      Reply

  7. Tania

    That workplace sounds so incompitent. I would be shitty too! Unfortunatly I have worked at alot of places that are disorganised, lack training and are basically inefficient It is alot more common than it should be!

    Rowdy Fairy Blog
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    Reply

    1. Amanda

      Sad part is, it’s A LOT better then the job I’m leaving!

      Reply

  8. Sara Hamil @ They Call it Gumption

    Wow, I definitely don’t blame you for having a chip on your shoulder. In my opinion you’re absolutely right – it makes no sense to keep a new hire on who can’t actually fulfill his obligations to you. If he had been there for a while? Maybe, but that’s hardly a way to start a new job!

    Given how miserable your old job made you I’d really hate to see you go back and would rather root for you to give this new one a shot.

    At the end of the day I just REALLY hope you get the college one because it’s time, dammit! You deserve it :)

    Reply

    1. Amanda

      (Shh… it’s still a secret, but… the college job called my references yesterday and want to see me on Monday!!)

      Reply

      1. Sara Hamil @ They Call it Gumption

        *FREAKS OUT*

        *Keeps quiet*

        *Screaming internally*

        Reply

  9. Tara @ Streets Ahead Living

    I’m all about giving it your best shot at least for a few weeks. You never know, it could work out great to your benefit. Plus everyone leaving at 4:30 on Fridays seems like a sweet deal!

    I hope it works out for you and perhaps something full-time eventually turns up.

    Reply

    1. Amanda

      Thank you! I’m becoming more open to the job each day, but I still feel incredibly lost. I treid to track down my boss all day to ask what I should be working on, but she wasn’t in today… But yes, being done at 4:30 is AMAZING!

      Reply

  10. Kelli

    When I started my new job in May I was sure I had done the wrong thing after a while I figure out that it was just because I hate change and I didn’t know anything about my new job and I knew everything about my old job. Now that I know what I’m doing I’m much more comfortable with my decision.

    Reply

    1. Amanda

      That’s great!! I still feel really lost, but I’m making the consious effort to do what I can, and more importantly to focus on the positive things about this job. For example, twice a day we all take a 5 minute exercise break!

      Reply

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